Guest Post: Lindsey @ NW Backyard Veggies - Green Tomato Chow Chow Chow

Because I think it sounds much more interesting when you can say the title like you would to the beat of Cha Cha music.

Put your hands on the waist of the overweight and slightly sweaty lady in front of you and let’s Chow Chow Chow our way into Green Tomato Bliss. 

For those of you who don’t follow my blog, (because you have a, um, life) let me fill you in on some details of my life in Mundania. I’m a wife, mom, marriage and family therapist, chicken raiser, worm composter, vegetable and herb gardener and all around bad ass mama. To throw a curve ball into everyday life, we decided to move our entire house from here to right over there approximately 1 week ago. Life has been a touch stressful, as of late, but everything started to feel nice and normal when I found myself pulling out my recipe for Green Tomato Chow Chow. Otherwise known as Green Tomato Relish. Otherwise known to sound better as Green Tomato Chow Chow Chow. 

Because you know I went sneakin’ back into my previous yard to harvest a substantial amount of yellow crookneck squash, zucchini and green tomatoes. Because ain’t no one reaping the benefit of my hard and long hours of toil and labor, damn it. Those tomatoes are MINE. I’m like a toddler on this. “If I started those seeds 16 weeks ago, they’re mine. If I looked at the green tomato with love in my eye, it’s mine. If I”…you get the point.

Green Tomato Chow Chow Chow is SO good. And it can be canned, thanks to the ridiculous amount of apple cider vinegar and sugar in it. It sets up nice and thick and can be tweaked and massaged (oh, my) to fit your general spice requirements. 

Side note - Can I just tell you how in love I am with my new baker’s table/butcher block work area? 

I finally have a kitchen that is bigger than a closet with a dead hooker stuffed in it, so I bought myself this nice and lovely, heavy-as-shit work table. With drawers. And shelves. And love all up in it.

*sigh*

First you grab yourself some medium (2 inch or so in diameter) green tomatoes. For this recipe I used 20 medium tomatoes. 

I have found that using a cuisinart for this sort of shit is the best way to go. But if you find that chopping an inordinate amount of vegetables, including ones that sting, by hand, then by all means, have at it. 

Blend to your desired chunk factor. I like my Chow Chow Chow more sauce than salsa, but that’s just my personal preference. Some people love it chunky. Follow your personal bliss.

Then add all the other ingredients, put on the stove and simmer on medium low, stirring often, for 2 hours.

Your house will STINK. I’m sorry. It’s the vinegar. BUT. Your cooking pot will get nice and shiny after you wash it and the stink goes away after about 90 minutes.

Spoon finished Chow Chow Chow into canning jars that are hot, seal and cap, and process in a water bath canner for 5 minutes (half pint) or 10 minutes (pint). Cool and store. Or consume. While standing in your kitchen. Using a purple plastic toddler spork.

Whatever. Don’t judge. 

The Backyard Veggies Version of Green Tomato Chow Chow Chow (Or Relish to the great unwashed)

(printable recipe)

20 2-inch or so green tomatoes

1 yellow onion, diced

3 orange sweet peppers

2 red sweet peppers

1 Anaheim chili

(You can also use a whole big red pepper, or some jalapenos or banana peppers for the Anaheim.)

1 - tablespoon + 2 teaspoons yellow mustard seed
1 - tablespoon celery seed
2 - cups cider vinegar
2 - cups granulated sugar
1 tablespoon + 2 teaspoons kosher salt

Dice and chop first 5 ingredients to desired size. Put in a bowl and mix in other ingredients. Simmer on the stove for 2 hours. Process in water bath canner as noted above, or simply store the fridge for up to 2 weeks.

Consume.

This stuff is good on anything with protein in it. Chicken, beef or pork. As a glaze, a topping, served over crackers and cream cheese. Added to sour cream and a little half and half as a salad dressing. Slurped out of the jar whilst hovering over your sink after the kid has gone to bed…

Green Tomato Chow Chow Chow. Beauty, dude. 

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Visit Lindsey here, at Bear Soap blog, or on Pinterest. Seriously. Do it. She's hilarious and kind of super amazing.